Posted on

Virtual Doula-ing During Covid-19 By Amara Minnis, CCE(BWI), CD(DONA)

These are unprecedented times. Have you heard? Of course you have. And you have probably
said that same thing yourself. We are throwing this phrase about so much with the COVID-19
pandemic that it is becoming alarmingly normal to be living in unprecedented times. Everyone
has been impacted by the adjustments that have been made to preserve health and safety. And
right about now, if it hasn’t already, it’s become a struggle. I’ve got to be honest, when I first
learned of the restrictions at our local hospitals, I was angry. I was upset that the women who
had chosen to have doulas at their birth would be forced to decide between having their
partner present or their doula. But when I took some time to reflect on the severity of the
situation, my heart was settled knowing that the restrictions were made for the health and
safety of everyone, including me. So I changed my thinking and jumped on board with my doula
sisters in being creative and inventive during the pandemic.
At the heart of the matter, my work as a doula is the same as it always has been. We have our
prenatal visit and our postpartum visit, only now it occurs virtually using Facetime or Zoom. It’s
important more than ever that we connect and discuss fears and worries about the upcoming
birth. It’s coming together as a team, and an opportunity for me to reassure and encourage
during what is such an uncertain and to some, scary time to have a baby. I am present for my
clients, offering reassurance and nonjudgmental support. And then postpartum, when stay in
place mandates have limited or eliminated the option of postpartum help from family and
friends, it’s critical that I check-in with my clients to see how they are doing and to answer any
questions or give any encouragement I can. It’s easy to feel isolated after giving birth in
ordinary times. In a pandemic, it’s pretty much a guarantee.
While the current situation has made it so I am not physically present in their birth space, I’m
still a presence at their birth. Let me elaborate. Some clients have chosen to have steady
support by way of video, using Facetime or Zoom. We are in touch in early labor same as
always, by phone or text. Then when their labor intensifies to the point that they would
summon me to join them, we setup the video connection and I am there. The words are the
same, the questions are those I would ask in person, and the recommendations are as the
situation warrants (cold cloth, position changes, comfort measures). Sometimes I am quiet,
assessing, watching and listening, ready to help when the need arises. But we know that
women are made to birth and as such staying silent is as important or more so, than speaking.
Some clients have preferred steady connection the whole way through with text and phone
calls and so I have honored that preference too.
I have been so very pleased with the reception I have received as a virtual doula in our area
hospitals as well. The nurses are working so hard to take care of their patients with the added
stress that comes with working in the medical field during a pandemic. And they have
graciously welcomed me to the birth space virtually. They have helped to incorporate me by
moving the laptop when the partner has forgotten, so I have a better view of my client. I have
had conversations with the nurse, midwife, or doctor when there is reason to talk about options and to encourage the birthing woman as a team. We are all still connected, still have the same goal, and still have a job to do.
While the current situation has its challenges, I am grateful to still have the opportunity to
serve my clients. There is more need for doula support more than ever, with such a feeling of
uncertainty day by day, and the fear about bringing new life into a world that feels so unsafe.
As doulas we can still do what we do best—support our clients, offer reassurance and
encouragement, and to be a lifeline when they feel disconnected from the world. Hopefully, we
can return to being a physical presence sooner rather than later. But for now, this will work. We
have a job to do. And our clients are counting on us.

Posted on

Feeling Spirituality in Birth

At the peak of childbirth, a woman in labor not only has the capacity to heal herself,
but to heal the whole of humanity – her own liberation contributing to the liberation
of humanity through the web of global consciousness to which we all belong.

BirthWorks philosophy: Birth is instinctive, Birth is sacred, Birth is ancient.

Spirituality can be broadly interpreted as the quest for self knowledge and the search for a
higher purpose and meaning to life. As such it can be described as a universal human
experience. For some the spiritual quest may be fulfilled through religious practice and
belief. Others may turn to more esoteric traditions and still others may look to meditation
and the development of self awareness. In the context of being a doula I would define
spirituality as the practise of helping birthing women reach their full potential and deepen
their self-awareness. The safe space that the doula protects enables the woman to
surrender to her birth, transcending the what/where/who/why of self-understanding up until
this point. The practise of human values of right speech, right thought and right action will
enable a doula to carry out this special work.

The belief that death, the end of one’s life, is a spiritual event appears to be ubiquitous
across every culture. It seems oddly lacking that in today’s western culture the
synonymous birth, the beginning of life, is not commonly thought of as spiritually
significant. Women’s health counsellor and childbirth educator Sharon Moloney states in
her paper on the research of women’s spirituality around menstruation and birth “cross-
culturally and throughout history, pregnancy and childbirth have been perceived as
spiritual events because of the miraculous processes involved”. She goes on to say that
despite many couples feeling that birth is a deeply spiritual event, modern obstetrics
largely ignores the spiritual side of birth. She says “Because birth is so commonly
experienced as a techno-medical event, no one guesses that the depression and spiritual
distress that often follow are reflective of a system (and a discourse) at odds with women’s
physiology and needs.” When birth becomes a medical event to be managed by
professionals the physiological side of birth becomes compromised; both by upsetting the
birth physiology and by alternating the mother’s emotional state. Scientific literature
abounds around the important role hormones play in the physical and emotional outcomes
of birth. Indeed oxytocin is now recognised as the key hormone regarding both

contractions and love. By upsetting this process we are robbing women not only of their
right to a healthy and emotionally satisfying birth but also of one of the key spiritual
experiences in a woman’s life.

A doula can play an important role in upholding the spirituality of birth. As protector of the
birthing space, a doula provides the security that women need to allow themselves to
unravel in the process of birth. Her presence and gentle words create the safety a woman
needs to let go and her reminders to “go within”, “dive deep” and “surrender” help guide a
woman to her inner depths, enabling her to connect to her true self. Eckhart Tolle says
“Whenever you accept what is, something deeper emerges than what is. So, you can be
trapped in the most painful dilemma, external or internal, the most painful feelings or
situation, and the moment you accept what is, you go beyond it, you transcend it. Even if
you feel hatred, the moment you accept that this is what you feel, you transcend it. It may
still be there, but suddenly you are at a deeper place where it doesn’t matter that much
anymore”. When a doula helps protect a woman from external stimulation and
interference, a woman has the possibility to transcend her experience. She may reach
places within herself, and I would argue within universal consciousness, that she never
even knew existed. Uninterrupted she is able to reach her deepest levels, those where
spiritual transformation takes place. Although she appears to be doing very little, the doula
is doing very important work.

Midwife Marianne Littlejohn says “How a baby is born and how well a woman is treated
when she gives birth sets the tone and is the matrix from which a child will grow into a
future we have not yet imagined”. When the doula meets her clients with an open heart
and mind, and when she shares compassion and kindness with the entire birthing team
she creates a climate of love that resonates throughout the days and lives of all those she
meets. The harried Doctor may reflect on his manner when he observes the doula sitting
contentedly with a birthing woman. The midwife may remember why she first drawn to the
profession when she observes the connection between doula and birther. When
overwhelmed with a crying baby and a crying mother, the partner may remember the love
and patience a doula showed to the woman during the toughest times of labour and bring
forth those qualities within them-self. At the opening of the next chapter of a couple’s life,
the doula participates in the creation of a future of peace and happiness.

Childbirth is a life experience of rich spiritual meaning. Women report birth as being
deeply spiritual and in some cases a time of spiritual transformation. Midwife Marianne
Littlejohn writes, “Birthing my firstborn son I knew I had tapped into a secret and powerful
source of love and energy within myself. I felt more connected to that and from that
moment on, I knew I was going to be a midwife”. A study of spirituality in childbearing
women identified the following spiritual themes in childbearing women “childbirth as a time
to grow closer to God, the use of religious beliefs and rituals as powerful coping
mechanisms, childbirth as a time to make religiosity more meaningful, the significance of a
Higher Power in influencing birth outcomes, and childbirth as a spiritually transforming
experience”. I am particularly interested in the last theme, that of childbirth as a spiritually
transforming experience. I believe childbirth is one of the few times in a woman’s life that
she is pushed to such extremes of experience that she may undergo any degree of
spiritual transformation. Above that, I believe that at the peak of childbirth she not only has
the capacity to heal herself, but to heal the whole of humanity – her own liberation
contributing to the liberation of humanity through the web of global consciousness to which
we all belong.

Within the context of being a doula, it is important to highlight the spiritual beliefs of the
families one is working with. A doula should ask what, if any, spiritual beliefs the family
and particularly the birthing woman hold. She should be careful that her words and
actions are respectful of these beliefs, and if she feels attuned to them, she may ask if the
family would like her to bring this spiritual aspect in to the birth in any way. This could be
in the form of prayer, meditation, cleansing, sage, chanting, mandala, candles, incense,
prayer beads etc.

To finish I will turn to a quote by Sharon Moloney that I feel expresses the depth of
spirituality that a birthing woman may experience. She says “Something was happening
which would render me forever different……. to be given the opportunity to know this
power of creation in the most intimate, deeply personal way—in my own flesh, and from
the depths of my being. Yet it was also frightening—something much bigger than me, over
which I had no control.” Blessings on the doula who is able to assist a birthing woman in
having such an experience.

Response from a BirthWorks International student to the following assignment:

Birth, regardless of any religious affiliation, denomination or belief system, is a miraculous
and spiritual event. In your work as a doula, you will become acquainted with families with
different beliefs and religious affiliations. How do you define “spirituality” in the context of
being a doula? How do you see spirituality being a part of supporting families during birth?

References
1. Spirituality in Childbearing Women. Lynn Clark Callister, RN, PhD, FAAN and Inaam
Khalaf, RN, PhD, 2010.
2. Dancing with the Wind: A Methodological Approach to Researching Women’s
Spirituality around Menstruation and Birth, Sharon Moloney, 2007.
3. Relationships – True love and the Transendence of Duality. Kim Eng.
4. Midwife Explains The Spiritual Side Of Birth. Huffington Post, 2015.

Posted on

Accepting Fully Who We Are

Our Birth Doula training is very comprehensive and includes not only Optimal Pelvic Positioning and “The Four Principles,” but also ways in which to enhance character development.  One of the ways we do this is by having our students complete the BirthWorks Doula Journal Workbook in which one of the exercises is to write responses to insightful quotations.  Here is an inspiring one we would like to share with you that is pertinent not only to doula work but to life itself.

 Quotation:

“The more we become ourselves, the more we change”. – Carl Rogers

This quotation speaks of accepting fully who we are.  In a society that tells us how to act, think, look and feel this can be incredibly difficult.  Many seemingly subtle experiences create a culture of how and who we should think, feel and be – a parent reassuring a child that, “That didn’t hurt” when they fell off their bike (it might not have hurt the parent but the child sure is hurt).  An Aunt insisting, “Come on and give me a hug, you’re not shy” – though the child is feeling shy in that moment. Teenagers are told who they should “like”; until recently this person must have been a member of the opposite sex.  If someone likes long floral skirts they may be seen as old fashioned, or hippy – everyone seems to have forgotten that floral skirts have gone in and out of fashion many times over the years.  As adults society has all sorts of messages – you should own your own home; you may only have one sexual partner – a dog and two kids is a complete family unit; you should be saving for retirement etc etc.

 

In this barrage of repression many people find it hard to find themselves.  It takes a lot of work to dig through perceived ideas and false personalities to find their true self.  It may even take decades of work through therapy, meditation, restorative practice and life crises.  It’s worth the journey though  for once we have found this true self we have found real freedom and real liberation.  Unshackled we are able to live in movement, flowing with the tide of life, able to shift and change with our current situation or environment.  We are free to live completely in the “Now” because we understand that we are merely consciousness flowing through a series of present moments.

 

Such acceptance is of huge benefit to us in our practice of being a doula as it allows one to be flexible and resilient.  It let’s us accept that other people are complete individuals and we are able to differentiate ourselves from them (differentiation being the ability to hold on to ourselves, our values and our opinions while accepting that there is room for more than one valid opinion and remaining connected whilst dealing with the anxiety that comes from these differences in opinion). We realize that though we may be doing things we may not be comfortable with for our own selves, it may be the best way to meet the birthing mother’s needs at that time.  It allows us to lend ourselves to our clients though they may not always heed our advice and may make decisions that we personally would not make.  It allows us to be gentle and compassionate in all our dealings with our birthing couple and with the entire birthing team.